Rethinking the Golden Rule (Why Empathy Matters More Than Ever)

Why This Keeps Coming Up

The Golden Rule has been around forever:

"Treat others the way you want to be treated."

It’s a noble starting point, right? But recently, this idea has been popping up in various ways—in a movie scene, a conversation with my parents, even during a recent church sermon.

When themes continue to surface like that, I tend to lean in—it sticks with me. (Maybe I overthink it—or maybe my buried OCD tendencies kick in. Either way—it matters.)

The Catch: We’re Not All the Same

I’m not one to argue with a screenwriter, my parents (well…), or a pastor—and definitely not with Jesus. (I have other things to talk about with Him first). But here’s something my work and life experiences have taught me—something that challenges the simplicity of the Golden Rule:

We are not all wired the same.

What feels respectful to one person might land very differently with someone else—dismissive, irrelevant, or even offensive. If we treat others only based on how we want to be treated, we risk misfires—sometimes subtle, sometimes damaging or alienating.

The Golden Rule can even provide unintentional permission for some people (rude or abrasive) to justify treating others poorly because they would accept the same behavior. In short—the Golden Rule doesn’t account for outliers or the uniqueness of every person.

💎Enter the Platinum Rule

That’s where The Platinum Rule offers something just as powerful—but often forgotten:

"Treat others the way they want to be treated."

This small but meaningful shift invites us into empathy and self-awareness—two skills vital to effective leadership, healthy communication, and meaningful relationships.

If we want to connect meaningfully—whether it’s with a team member, a client, a significant other, or a

friend—understanding how they feel respected, heard, and valued is essential.

This doesn’t mean abandoning your own values or perspective—it means expanding them by making

space for others’—and for how they feel respected, heard, and valued.

👥Why This Matters in Leadership

(We can consider this section somewhat rhetorical—but let’s do it anyway.)

I’ve seen this play out across organizations and coaching relationships around the world. Two leaders can have the same goals—but wildly different impacts—depending on how well they understand and adapt to what others need (or sometimes, simply want).

Empathy isn’t soft. It’s strategic.

That understanding begins with curiosity, continues with listening, and is powered by a willingness to lead with humility.

Self-awareness isn’t just about knowing your triggers—it’s about understanding how you affect others.

💬Final Thought (And a Gentle Nudge)

The Golden Rule isn’t wrong—it’s just incomplete.

The Platinum Rule asks more of us—not just as leaders, but as people. It pushes us to create stronger connections by listening more deeply, assuming less, leading with intention, and sending out energy others want to be around.

If all that sounds like something you’re not interested in… well, you probably stopped reading a while

ago. 😉

Want to lead with more impact?

Let’s talk. I help individuals and teams put these principles into action—with clarity, intention, and measurable results.